Uh Oh! Looks like you clicked on one of my satire ads. The product, service, or article was created or exaggerated for entertainment purposes only. Bummer, right? If you at least enjoyed a good laugh, consider supporting me via Redbubble, Facebook Stars, CashApp, or BuyMeACoffee. Humans don't know half of animals' struggles; I damaged so much equipment trying to build this damn website, I went through 249 keyboards, 67 mice (not even the real ones), and 3 desks because I damn near chewed through the first two from the anxiety alone. 

Not to mention the constant struggles of running from loose dogs, dodging careless drivers, while maintaining 100 feet radius from my crazy ass exe who insist on pinning another animal's litter on me. And imagine doing ALLLL that and losing countless phones by dropping them into ponds, toilets, and creeks. That's why I stick to the lakes and the rivers I'm used to. Anyway, I digress. Support animal-operated businesses. 

Ralphy, Out!